We all have to deal with toxic people in our lives at some point or another, but if you’ve recognised toxic relationship patterns from someone close to you, it’s time to do something about it. It might be a boss, a friend or a partner – and you need to take action in order to help get your wellbeing back on track.
“These kinds of relationships can feel addictive. It’s not easy to let go of something that we know is bad for us, but at the same time a lot of us will be getting a gain for this or it will feel familiar to us,” believes Emily.
This can be reminiscent of our early attachments with our caregivers and childhood conditioning and is what we often call a trauma bond. We will continue to attract people and things that feel familiar to us or show us what we need to heal within to grow in life.
“When we grow up, we have a choice – we can continue using relationships, people, drink, drugs, food etc to numb ourselves, or we can open ourselves to the possibility that we can recondition our thoughts, as adults, to be our own and position ourselves in the world to be exactly who we want to be,” continues Emily.
And if it’s an immediate family member who is deliberately causing you grief, now is the time to set emotional boundaries.
“Use any feuds or disagreements as a mirror. What is it showing you? Family members, especially, will subconsciously pick up on imbalances within you. This may be mirroring back and in actual fact, there is something within the feud which is triggering you to feel angry, resistant or upset,” adds Emily.
Positive thinking is one of the best ways to get through tough times. The idea is that if you practice gratitude, then you’ll feel more positive, attracting more happiness into your life.
“Gratitude practice is my favourite, and probably the most beneficial, way to get started with achieving emotional balance. Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough,” says Emily.
Crowd out toxicity by starting a gratitude journal and write down three things that you’re grateful for each day. This will help to build a more empowered outlook, helping you to eliminate negative thoughts and focusing more on the positive.
“Being grateful is about much more than just saying thank you – it’s really about not taking things or people for granted and realising a sense of appreciation and thankfulness for everything in your life, however large or small.
“Gratitude is a health choice that will leave you feeling more consciously grateful, often much happier and more optimistic,” explains Emily.